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▼: welcome to hopywood
▼: ill be your movie producer
▲: We've been through this before, Strider. A movie adaptation would ruin the original material.
▼: rose you dont really understand then
▼: i wouldnt expect you to
▼: writings more your thing
▼: a movie adaptation might make more of an impact on the public
▼: or at the very least
▼: a portion of it
▼: that way they have a visual
▲: I don't doubt that, but my books reach a large portion of the human populace as it is.
▲: I also don't doubt that you'd end up turning my work into, in your own words, something "conksuck"y.
▲: "Conksuck" is not my style, nor will it ever be,.
▼: would you at least give the script a read over? ill even play by your rules
▲: Goodness, playing by my rules, now? You must be desperate. Never thought I'd see the day where those words escaped you.
▲: I'll read it, but I'm not promising anything.
▼: the end of the world has its way of pushing people to desperation lalonde
▼: i mean just because i said i would play by your rules
▼: doesnt quite mean i wouldnt i break them later
▼: haha
▲: Oh, of course. How could I expect anything different?
▲: Keep your knife for the alien's back, not mine.
▼: i was thinking of having justin bieber play calmasis
▼: what do you think
▲: I think I'd rather shove my knitting needles into my own eyes.
▼: wouldnt you rather save that for a certain food network demon?
▼: it would be for ironies lalonde
▼: but take it serious
▼: plus the public wouldnt expect something serious from me
▼: so its ironic
▲: I think I've made up my mind. Ironies or no, my work will stay my own.
▲: I understand where you're coming from, but I think the time for underhanded, subtle jabs at her royal imperiousness is far gone.
▼: haha maybe so but thats one of the things im best at
▼: is there any way i might be able to change your mind
▲: Highly unlikely. If we come out of this alive, I'll consider it seriously.
▼: the mere fact that you consider it general is enough to appease me
▼: im like a dog rose that just wants a walk
▼: and as long as i get one sooner or later
▼: im perfectly happy
▼: also the hope of getting that walk
▼: is a nice push forward
▲: How adorable. I'd never before considered you anything like a pup, but I can see the similarity now.
▲: Overexcitable and likely to piss on the carpet if shown enough attention.
▼: you know me
▼: you know me so well what would i ever do without you
▲: Wonder why you dreamt so often about phallic symbols, no doubt.
▼: oh yes definitely i would be lying awake surrounded by dicks and they would begin to take over my life
▼: i would myself
▼: become a dick
▼: pretty soon it would no longer become sweet bro and hella jeff but rather sweet dick and hella cock
▲: The world itself would be subject to nothing but members in every aspect of their live whether they consciously registered them or not.
▲: An impressive feat.
▼: the bitch alien probably would take it as a some sort of symbol of reproduction no doubt
▼: id be a goner by now so thanks for existing rose
▲: You're welcome. The world would indeed be a darker place without your repressed urges.
▲: But we digress, once again.
▼: oh yeah right shit what was the point
▲: I believe the time is nigh for our plan. We cannot sit idly forever.
▼: youre right we need to get down to business which im all about
▼: but where the fuck do we begin
▼: i know ive been training
▼: black belt in cool and a license to kill
▲: I don't think your earlier idea was too bad, actually.
▲: The battle for now has been lost, and the odds of the war are hopelessly stacked against us, but we can still take out the figureheads posing as key players.
▲: Who knows, we may yet draw out the alien herself in the process.
▼: wouldnt that be something luring her out of her weird alien cave
▼: i wouldnt put it past her to know thats what were going to do
▼: what about the kids? what are we going to do about them huh??
▲: I wish I knew. I've been thinking about it, and there's no way we can guarantee their safety.
▲: It'll be impossible. We'll be separated by centuries; all we can do is prepare something for them and hope they get it.
▲: I think I will leave my house to whoever my descendant ends up being. A safe haven for them to hide from if the alien's still in charge in the future.
▼: maybe ill do something with my apartment
▲: Unless you've discovered a way to travel through time... I don't think there's anything else I can do.
▼: well... fuck no sometimes i feel like thats actually a feet i can accomplish
▼: i mean im only dave motherfucking strider and youre rose motherfucking lalonde
▼: theres something close to it im sure we can do
▲: It does feel that way sometimes. It's a strange feeling.
▲: Like I should know more than I do. ... Perhaps that's simply a shortcoming of being human.
▼: do you ever feel like not human? i know its a stupid question but were both adults here
▼: and weve seen stranger things
▲: Not human? That depends what you mean by that.
▲: I don't feel like I've been born on a different planet, if that's what you mean. Earth is my home, it always has been.
▲: But that's not exactly to say that I feel like everyone else does.
▼: the latter
▼: not feeling like the majority we so cleverly play with
▲: They're so... detatched from the real world, almost. Like they're unaware of what's happening around us.
▲: I guess I don't feel entirely human, then. I'm not normal, at any rate.
▲: You don't either?
▼: nah
▼: not even by an inch
▼: more like a few miles away from normal town
▼: im sitting over here in my own weird village where we survive off of trash can fires
▼: and food in cans
▼: i shall call it
▼: can town
▲: Perhaps it's a strange thing to comment on, but given our discussion, I might as well take the risk of sounding crazier than I have already presented myself.
▲: Do you ever feel like there's people missing?
▲: Like- there should be more of us. Rebels, I suppose you could call us.
▼: no rose its okay you dont sound crazy
▼: youre talking to the guy who created the physical jpeg
▼: anythings really possible in my realm of reality
▲: That is true. Thank you for hearing me out.
▼: and i feel the same way
▲: Harley should have been another member of our resistance. I think in another life she must have been.
▲: It wasn't the distance, but... something just didn't seem right.
▲: And she isn't the only missing one.
▼: haha harley? that does sound familiar but rose
▼: i dont know anyone by the name harley
▲: ...
▲: I... don't think I do, either.
▲: I wonder where that came from.
▲: Regardless- we're alone, and we shouldn't be. I wish these mystery characters weren't disappeared.
▼: pun not intended
▼: or maybe theyll come when the kids come
▼: i mean with the way the world seems to be working for us theres really no telling
▼: were going to have to literally find a way to go into the future
▼: and bring them back
▼: and then pull a back to the future in a nice delorian
▼: i have like two if you want your own
▼: and keep some sort of stable time loop
▲: I think I'll be okay. I'll find some way of joining you. The Tardis, perhaps.
▼: really rose? the tardis?? i guess its not that bad
▼: i just thought you were classier than that
▼: perhaps i should go in a more stylized way
▼: turn my turntables into some timetables perhaps
▼: haha
▼: math jokes
▲: Oh, goodness. Please, I beg of you, spare me.
▼: sorry shit what was our point again?
▼: oh right business
▲: I never thought I would say anything like this, but I think I'm scared, Dave.
▲: Or at least, whatever passes for fear in my mind. I don't even know if that's what this is.
▲: Maybe it's excitement. Who am I to tell? The future awaits with a great trident in its otherworldly hand.
▼: if you feel anything like i do its definitely a form of adrenaline
▼: a push for time
▼: dont worry though rose
▼: youre talking to the guy who was knighted by the queen herself
▼: and thats what ill be
▼: your knight in shining armor
▲: I don't know whether to be ashamed or flattered.
▼: flattered because i know you would do the same
▲: But, I suppose I should return the sentiment. I might not be able to ride a horse into battle or anything like that, but if I ever see something that isn't right, I'll let you know.
▼: thanks
▲: If we must illuminate the future, we may as well fight together. We've come this far already.
▲: And we'll go even further.
▲: I hope you're as ready for blood as I am.
▼: im more than prepared for blood rose
▼: death has come really close to my door one too many times for me to be frightened by it
▼: as long as we dont go down without a fight right? like some sort of cheesy heroes
▲: Of course. You can even call it ironic, if the idea of inspiring others doesn't appeal to you.
▼: it is ironic
▼: because im not a hero yet here i am preparing for some heroic deed to the people who have no idea
▼: that we are doing it for all of them
▲: I wonder if they'll ever know.
▼: im sure itll be documented by someone if not ourselves
▼: and maybe in the bleak future someone will pick up a history book
▼: and go wow
▼: those guys were
▼: bad ass
▼: maybe ill leave some sort of history book the kid
▲: That... isn't a bad idea.
▲: I might have to follow your lead, Strider. How could something so important have slipped my mind?
▲: If I'm leaving everything behind I should include my own knowledge on the situation as well, and hope that it isn't destroyed.
▼: haha if were leaving EVERYTHING behind then i have to leave this kid the strider legacy
▼: something for him to pick up on and continue
▼: but you brought up a good point
▼: how the fuck is this shit going to survive for
▼: how long did you say??
▲: Centuries, probably. If we weren't preparing for our deaths anyway, we still wouldn't live to see them.
▲: This alien reproductive system is possibly the biggest crock of shit of everything that's been introduced thus far.
▼: fuck that noise
▼: i mean seriously how the fuck do the aliens do it
▼: maybe we gotta fight fire with fire or something
▼: im sure even aliens want their heirs to live
▲: How on earth would we succeed in stopping their procreation? We've never even seen any.
▲: For all we know, the queen is the only one left. And I highly doubt throwing condoms at her would win our war.
▼: hahaha can you imagine? just equip the human race with enough condoms to prevent stds from existing ever again
▼: and just throwng them at her
▼: she starts melting and i dunno making weird alien noises
▲: If only that were the case.
▲: That wouldn't even the end of the line for those brave rubbers, either. Goodness knows they'd see good use once humans had reclaimed the earth once again.
▼: that would lead to a new booming in population then wouldnt it? because you and i both know most condoms are shit
▲: Unsexy as they are, they'd be a much better aid than pails. Goodness only knows what they were thinking when they introduced those.
▼: ahaha i could probably think a few things they thought of
▼: im pretty creative
▼: and what we need right now is that creativity i guess
▼: man i just feel like shit knowing we cant be there you know?
▲: Can't be there? For the children?
▼: yeah
▲: I feel bad as well, but it's hardly our fault the situation has been forced upon us.
▲: I for one don't think I would make a fantastic mother. Whoever mine ends up being is probably better off without me.
▼: hey i think you would make a great mom rose dont say that
▼: i would be a shitty dad brother guardian thing
▲: Oh, please. My maternal instincts are nonexistant. What would I do, read them wizard slash as a bedtime story?
▲: You'd be better than you think you would. Not the best, perhaps, but you would try your hardest. I think that's what counts.
▲: Your heart's in the right place, even if you don't know how to interact with anything that doesn't praise your shitty 3D jpeg artifacts.
▼: rose, one: your heart is in the same vicinity as mine and you know it
▼: second
▼: im as social as you are maternal and what a kid needs is somebody who is like a perfect dad thing
▼: someone like egbert who really just wants some little girl to raise one day
▲: Egbert?
▼: what?
▲: Who's that?
▼: i
▼: i have no fucking idea
▲: How peculiar. It seems I'm not the only one who's remembering people who don't exist.
▲: Jesus. The sentimentality of this conversation has hit harder than I thought it would.
▲: Whoever knew that preparing to leave the world would be so difficult.
▼: and here i was just hoping to make a new movie with you rose
▼: aaah those were the days
▼: making movies
▼: making a scene in the public
▼: writing wizard slash for a living
▲: And here I thought our lives weren't so simple, but you've simplified it well enough.
▲: Movies and porn; what more could a person want?
▲: If nothing else, it's been fun.
▲: ... And, I suppose, a pleasure to have met and worked with you.
▼: you suppose? you should feel blessed that weve been able to meet and work together
▼: because youre life would be nothing without dave strider in the mix
▼: im like the necessary ingredient for every relationship
▲: Of course, of course. I'm simply downplaying how integral to my sanity analysing your every move has been and wondering just what it means for the rest of the world.
▲: I'm glad that at the end of my life, I finally know the answer.
▲: Dicks. That is all it has and will ever be. Endless phalli of every description.
▲: Congratulations, Strider, your life can be quantified by erections straining to be let loose. I hope you're proud, if nothing else.
▼: im more than proud
▼: my pride is equal to one of those erections and is pretty much bursting out to the public
▲: Just the one?
▼: youre right how could i be foolish enough to compare it to just one
▼: for my pride even hides itself away in the most subtle of dicks
▼: that overlooks our great society
▲: I hope by "great", you mean flaccid.
▼: well my pride hasnt quite erected itself to a new level of greatness yet has it?
▼: but fuck these dick jokes sure have
▼: but fuck these dick jokes sure have
▼: but fuck these dick jokes sure have
▼: but fuck these dick jokes sure have
▲: I'm simply appealing to the very core of your nature. Stopping is no trouble.
▼: stop trying to make me run my mouth over dicks
▼: shit wait
▼: no that didnt sound right
▲: Heh. It was only a matter of time before you slipped up.
▲: Don't worry; my lips are sealed. Your cocksucking, no matter how nonexistant may be, is our secret.
▼: thank you oh merciful lalonde
▼: you have saved my reputation
▼: and my career
▼: and my career
▼: and my career
▼: and my career
▼: why dont we get back to business? my jaws a little tired from sucking all these cocks
▲: Of course. What would you like to address?
▼: maybe we should find out what we should do right now
▼: time is money
▼: and time
▼: is not something we have a lot of right now
▼: even if it does seem that way
▼: like maybe ill work on reinforcing my apartment
▼: something like that
▲: You're right. Starting my memoirs seems like it might be a good place to begin.
▲: Once our wills are effectively sorted, it would probably be a good idea to figure out a plan of attack. Will we be going for the figureheads, or others?
▲: I can't think of anyone more important to go for than our newly instated government.
▼: yeah me either
▼: theyd probably make for a nice practice round
▼: preparing for the batterwitch and all
▲: Who do you wish to go for, then? I've no preference as to who falls by my hands.
▲: Have any of them offended you personally, or shall we just draw lots?
▼: i want the juggalos
▼: they think they know so much about comedy
▼: fuck them
▲: And so the knight in shitty armour rides forth like some kind of goddamn jpeg hero to avenge the laughless life that the humans lead. His sword held high and tinted glasses shining, he carries himself with a back straightened by the concept of justice. The rest of the world looks on, breath baited, and the maid he once planned with looked on with an ironic tear in her eye, for old times' sake.
▲: I've at least got the end of my memoirs.
▼: i like it
▼: i give it
▼: 5 out of 5 dicks
▼: shit if im gonna leave this kid my legacy i gotta keep all my stuff all locked up and protected
▼: maybe like if i put it in a museum
▲: A museum? How suitably ostentatious.
▲: I can think of no finer resting ground for your crap.
▼: it would be classy
▼: aside from wearing his nice suits every once and a while
▼: a museum of irony
▼: yeah that sounds good
▼: itll feature some of my greatest works and showcase the greatest of ironic things to ever have graced this eart
▼: earth* )
▲: And if the people weren't being controlled, I'm sure they would complain quite clearly about the use of their tax dollars. A good plan.
▲: I think I'll just play it quiet and subtle. No one will notice just another author winking out of existance, and big displays really aren't my thing.
▼: hey whatever keeps your buoyancy device afloat
▼: im pretty sure i can be flashy enough for the both of us
▲: That, I don't doubt.
▲: ... This might sound irrelevant, suddenly. A waste of time, perhaps.
▼: go ahead
▲: But the child- your child. If you were to live to see it, and to take care of it.
▲: ... What would you name it?
▼: heh something cool i guess
▼: wouldnt want the little shit growing up with a really lame name
▼: i dunno
▼: a leaders name
▼: but still has strider written all over it
▼: why have you thought of this extensively?
▲: Not necessarily.
▲: I might once have indulged ideas about whatever I might spawn, and how it would grow up, and what it might look like.
▲: I've always liked the name Roxy for a girl.
▲: For a boy... I don't know. Richard, perhaps.
▼: haha figues you would pick something as lame but as regal as the name richard
▼: nah i think i like the name dirk
▼: its the name of a sword and a great leader
▼: a guy that sounds like he could get shit done
▼: and for a girl?
▼: dani
▼: something tomboyish because fuck
▼: if i had a little girl i would suckerpunch the fuck out of her
▼: by suckerpunch i mean the movie
▲: Not for the first time, I thank my lucky stars you aren't my guardian.
▼: and i thank the high heavens you arent mine either
▼: if anything youre more like a sister to me
▲: Really? ... I return the feelings. How strange that I might find a sibling in someone that doesn't share my blood.
▲: I can't say I'd want it any other way, honestly. There would be no fun in a kindred with someone who didn't understand.
▼: yeah i pretty much have no other friends rose
▼: youre the closest person to me
▼: so you know if youre willing to break the sibling line anytime
▼: and maybe get a bite to eat sometime
▼: im totally open to that too
▲: The end of our lives are looming and asking me on a date is at the forefront of your mind?
▲: I would laugh if it wasn't so predictably you.
▼: well the end of our lives are looming upon us and i might regret not asking you out
▼: yolo rose
▼: yolo
▲: You raise a good point, even if it is punctuated by hipster slang. I thought you were above that.
▼: i normally am so if im pulling it out its for the ironies
▲: Brother or no, I don't exactly want rid of you.
▲: Que sera sera. A date, a movie adaptation- what is it to me? Wish and you may yet receive, if we aren't murdered first.
▼: oh my god stop it
▼: im falling down all these flights of love
▼: so in all seriousness though
▲: You can't say you weren't warned.
▼: they told me dawg
▼: that they did
▲: In all seriousness?
▼: yes in all seriousness
▼: are you really willingly to go on a date? i mean it doesnt even have to be romantic
▼: i feel a little worn out from stress of life in general anyway to be romantic anyway so like
▼: i dunno i guess
▼: a nice dinner before we start getting shit done
▼: because we might not get another chance
▲: Yes, Dave, I'm really willing. You aren't the only one who's alone. I know it might be hard to believe what with my light, comedic subject matter, but I'm not actually the life and soul of every party.
▲: A break from that would be nice. Welcome, in fact.
▼: nice
▼: cool so why dont i take you out
▼: we have a nice night
▼: and then we get shit done
▼: sound like a plan??
▲: The very best.
▲: The only request I have is that it mustn't suck. I haven't been on many dates, and I don't want my last one to be the worst of the small handful I've experienced.
▼: rose
▼: rose lalonde
▼: youre going to be with me
▼: do you really think its going to suck?
▲: I should hope not. You should know my standards aren't as low as you might expect them to be.
▲: Though now I think of it, perhaps they should be. Lower, I mean. Christ only knows that might be a reason why it's not something I do often.
▲: ... Not that it really matters anymore. Sentimentality is a funny thing.
▼: you know what else is a funny thing? you
▼: just dont overthink it
▼: and have fun kay? mr strider will treat you right
▲: I believe this is where I am meant to say "Ooh, Mr Strider, ooh", or some variation thereof.
▲: ... Thank you.
▼: heh no problem
▼: its also sort of a form of thank you
▼: for you know
▼: being here for me and shit
▼: and just be an overall pretty tolerable person compared to the rest of the scum that inhabits the earth
▼: okay well they arent scum
▼: but in comparison everybody else is pretty shitty
▲: You're welcome. Refusing to be brainwashed is the least I can offer.
▲: I suppose the only question left on the table is when. How long should we allow ourselves? We've houses to stock and men to prepare to kill and now a date, too.
▼: date first
▼: how about tomorow night
▼: i want to have it as soon as possible so we dont regret having not done it at all later
▲: Alright. Date tomorrow, bloodthirst later.
▲: Though it sounds like you think it's something I would attempt to wriggle my way out of. I'm a woman of my word, Strider.
▼: its the juggalos
▼: the food network demon
▼: and the alien
▲: You think they'll come for us before we can make our move?
▼: i dont think that i just dont know if they would or not
▼: just being careful
▲: While it's a risky endeavour and I'm sure they think we're planning something - we at least have the element of susprise. None of them will know when exactly we'll move.
▲: But your desire for haste is understandable. I'm not trying to change your mind.
▲: I should have my place fixed up by the end of the week. I can find a way to Fieri in a day or two, probably. ... Depending on how quick you can move, I think whatever happens will be over by the middle of next week.
▼: youre talking to a strider
▼: while im taking out the insane clown party ill be having others who i pay to fix up my place
▼: quick is something i can do with ease
▼: ill be in and out of there in a flash step
▲: Understood. It's reassuring to know there's someone that will be able to keep up with me, for a change.
▼: im happy to here someone feels exactly the same way i do
▲: And will you be coming to me for our rendevouz tomorrow, or I to you?
▼: if i go out ill attract attention with my beautiful face and celebrity air
▼: next thing you know they got us all up on tmz
▲: What a stellar excuse for seclusion.
▼: so you know do that thing where youre completely under the radar of paparazzi
▼: and pick me up and then you know ill take you out
▼: but i guess if youre picking me up im not really taking you out
▼: its like were taking each other out
▲: Don't overthink it, Strider. There's nothing wrong in wanting to remain undetected.
▼: heh it would be nice to have some privacy
▲: I know a way or three to avoid other people. Have no fear; you'll be safe with me.
▲: I'll let you know before I leave.
▼: sweet thanks
▲: (( ahh I need to leave, it's 2am, but oh my goodness I just wanted to say thank you for the best rp I've had in months? this gskhhdf it was just amazing holy hell alpha dave/rose is my absolute weakness and you were a perfect dave and ahhh please let me love you and if you would like swap Skype details so we can continue another time? ))
▼: (( jdadshfljdsjl omg i have to go soon too flkdsjf;lj so holy shit no thank you for the best? i have so many alpha feels and just OMG NO YOUR ROSE IS PERF??? ))
▼: (( my skype is ------ so that we can continue to love each other because holy shit ydajf;ldj ))
▼: (( i wasnt expecting this. i just wanted to just sort of see what people said but then. alpha ))
▲: (( sgksghhjdfs please excuse me while I just explode with feels everywhere and ahhh I'm so flattered you think i'm a good rose and gsdfsgksf this is honestly the best rp i am SO GLAD i decided to pick it up gjhsdfsg ))
▲: (( I'll add you now and be around tomorrow.~ i'm on gmt and around pretty much every afternoon/evening even if i'm not about during the day, and most of the time up for continuing glorious awesomeness as well, so. dlsjfsgshf I can't get over how amazing you are omg ))
▼: (( well its actually haha 6 pm for me so kfda;jflkj we'll figure out timezones later ))
▼: (( but its okay i stay up all night and just uwah im just ))
▼: (( going to you know... die happy ))
▼: (( i wasttlyexpecint to explode in feels at you but thenyoudid first and omg i am just the happiest person right now))
▲: (( jshksjdfh I want you to know that I actually cannot stop grinning right now and I may have made a really weird giggling noise and am getting a weird look but it is so totally worth it and skgjhsf oh my god ))
▲: (( tonight = best decision of the month without a doubt. ))
▼: (( fad;slfjim just gonna roll on the floor in front of them and squeal ))
▼: (( when im done typing. ))
▼: (( alright omg i ll let you go and WEWILLSPEAK LATER ))
▲: (( kjhsdf okay! and yes, yes we will jhjshdfff i am going to have the best sleep in the world and look forward to whenever this continues and yes aaaah thank you SO MUCH for absolutely making my evening, you wonderful person! ))
▲: (( take care and i hope the rest of the night goes well for you. <3 i added you on skype but in case it didn't go through, i'm starlightraining c: so sfkgshjdfhsg yess and ahhh andgkjshdfsdgs goodnight!! ))
▼: (( iconfirmed it and then signed of ;alkjf good night fja <3333333 ))